10 Things I'd Never Do

In the late 15th century (OK, 3 months ago to be precise), Duncan Borrowman tagged me to think of 10 things I'd never do. As 'better late than never' is practically my motto, here goes:

1. Vote Tory. Or Labour. An accusation of tribalism is invariably used as an insult nowadays, but I'm unfashionably tribal enough not to be willing to vote for either of the old parties. Of course I always vote Lib Dem if I have a chance, but there was one occasion since I hit 18 when the ballot paper lacked a Lib Dem. It was a Reading Borough Council election, I was standing in the neighbouring ward and we were short of paper candidates. Anyway, I was faced with the choice of Labour, Tory or Green. I toyed with voting Green, but in the end I drew an extra Lib Dem box onto the bottom of the ballot paper, put a big X next to it and proudly spoilt my paper.

2. Vote for any fundamentally illiberal motion on the Council.

3. Arrive significantly early for a meeting. Not that I wouldn't like to, but I'm just constitutionally incapable of it. On the occasions when I'm not already running late, and there's a spare 10 minutes, there's always something to do to fill the gap, leaving me rushing in at 1 minute to or 1 minute past...

4. Catch a channel ferry when the Eurotunnel, Eurostar or a plane is an option. There's a more prosaic reason than Duncan's - I get horribly seasick!

5. Use the expression "one of the only". Arrrgggghh!

6. Get married again. Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt.

7. Eat marmalade. I like oranges; I like jam. Many otherwise reliable people have advised me that marmalade is basically orange jam but I can't stand the stuff. If I have toast for breakfast, and there's no jam, I just have to have it naked. (The toast that is.)

8. Become a doctor, nurse, soldier or butcher. I get vasovagal syncope. (Look it up!)

9. Do a boring IT job again. (Hopefully!)

10. Do another one of these 10 things lists.